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June 7, 2007 / jadettman

Stressed and out of sorts

Lately, I’ve been lacking in creative energy.

For those who aren’t aware, Britt and I are in the process of buying a house. The plan is to close on the house and move in before the fall semester begins at Beloit College. So far, things are looking iffy and it has caused a fair amount of stress in our lives.

Coupled with the house-hunting and -negotiating, I’ve been continuing my search for a full-time job. Ideally, I’m trying to find something in Beloit to avoid buying a second car (an expense we certainly don’t need especially with the new house). Needless to say, it isn’t going well. Perhaps I’m not applying for the right jobs or there are just too many qualified candidates that I’m competing against but, whatever the reason, my lack of prospects have only added to my stress and creative drain.

Adding to the creative drain, I feel, is the general lack of social gaming. When I was running my Amber game every Sunday in Ithaca, I felt like sessions gave me a creative boost of energy each week, rubbing my brain against the brains of five other people creating a fun and energizing creative charge. Without that, my creative batteries are feeling a little dead.

The unnamed Amber PBEM that I’ve been ‘running’ has fallen victim to this. The format just doesn’t have the same immediacy or energy that a FtF game has and I feel like the game is draining more of my creative energy rather than recharging it.

It doesn’t help that everyone involved in the game is busy. Britt and I are buying a house, I’m looking for a full-time job, Britt is attending conferences and preparing for the fall semester, Camille just bought a new house, Shawn is buying or has bought a new house recently, Dan is getting married and finishing up his Ph.D., and JP is an all-around busy manager-dude. Am I just looking for an excuse to let the game die? Maybe.

Back on topic, I’ve connected with several gamers on the internet in the last few months. A couple in town, some in Rockford, many in Madison. I really want to get out there and game but the house and job-hunting are taking up a significant amount of time. That and driving 45 minutes to an hour to play in a game isn’t grabbing me just yet. Maybe when life settles down a little, I’ll be happier to make that drive but that time isn’t here yet.


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