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February 2, 2008 / jadettman

A Bit of Introspection

As happens from time to time, today I’ve been thinking about why I do what I do and feel what I feel.

Why do I Create?

It often feels like I’m on a non-stop creative binge, bouncing from one idea to the next in a flurry of imaginative ADD, so lately I’ve been wondering why.

It seems to me that my primary problem on this front is that I just can’t stop creating.  My brain just latches onto whatever inputs bombard it and riffs on it. On top of that, there is some part of my brain (the part that can’t seem to let go of song lyrics, I think) that just won’t let go of an idea until I record it somehow.

“How horrible,” you must be saying! To tell the truth, though, it can be quite the pain. I’m constantly scribbling little notes on tiny scraps of paper. My brain refuses to let go of an idea until I write it down, which means that, sometimes, I get into this very annoying obsessive mental loop that makes it difficult to think of anything else and that frequently ends up giving me insomnia.

Theoretically, the up-side is that I’ve got all of these great creative ideas, right? The problem is that they keep coming! It makes it very hard for me to concentrate on a single project and means that I often don’t finish a project because the next idea has captured my attention.

Is Publishing an Important Part of Creating for Me?

I like to share my ideas. I could just post all of my ideas here on the ol’ blog but I imagine that my audience would be quite small. Additionally, free creativity rarely seems to be valued. So, publishing.

In the vein of my earlier post about investment in gaming, I feel that someone is more likely to value my ideas if they are willing to pay for them and, if they’ve gone to the trouble of paying for them, I’m much more likely to get some feedback.

Is External Validation Necessary for My Creative Well-Being?

You know, I think a certain amount of external validation is important to me. It makes the actual effort I take to complete a project seem worthwhile.

Sometimes, I really take that for granted, too. The success of my published products is something I just don’t enjoy enough. Monsters and Mayhem, McGuffin’s Guide to Spacecraft Construction, and The Neighborhood are three of Cracked Mirror Publishing’s best selling products, all written by me. So, that’s something I need to keep in mind when I’m running myself down in the future.


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